You know what? I'm really jealous... a girl from school who I will refer to as K flirts with him... *sigh* And also, a bunch of other things... quick sort-of poem here:
I hate myself.
I hate the way I watch him.
I hate the way I love him, but can't do anything.
I hate the way that I'm sometimes vain.
I hate the way that I stare in a mirror, wanting to be perfect.
I hate the way that I am not perfect.
I hate the way that I want to be perfect.
I hate the way that I hate myself.
I hate the way that I act rude.
I hate the way that I look down on others.
I hate the way that I watch others suffer.
I hate the way that I can't do anything to help.
I hate the way that I feel jealous.
I hate the way that I envy those better than me.
I hate the way that I feel that I want to drag them down.
I hate the way that I begin to think like that.
I hate the way that I have to wage war with myself.
I hate the way that I can't control my jealousy.
I hate the way that I can't control my hate.
I hate the way that I hate others.
I hate the way that I hate myself.
I hate the way that I am such an idiot.
I hate the way that I am blind to the obvious.
I hate the way that I can't stop hating.
I hate eternally.
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But things can be better.
ReplyDeleteYou love yourself. At least, part of you do.
You can't help it, but you do love him.
You love him, and if he's worth it, he'll love you.
You'd be crazy if you weren't vain in some way. That or gay.
Heck, every girl wants to be perfect. The reason you want to be perfect is because you have some of the heavenly perfection in you that you long for more. And there's nothing wrong with that.
No one's perfect. Yet they fall in love and get married all the time.
No one's perfect...there are flaws on every sun. Yet if you look at the whole picture, past the flaws, the shine of the orb drowns out the minute scratches.
You don't hate yourself. Part of you does, but she's louder than the part of you who loves you. Try to find beauty within.
Hell, you'd have to be an angel to never be rude. No pun intended.
How can you help looking down on..some? They're just so pathetic...
There's nothing you can do about the ones suffering now. All you can do is hope for the future.
Again, you can't do everything. If you try, you make it worse..usually.
You're only human...you will be jealous of what you don't have. It's natural. Hell, you're better for it, because a bunch of temes I know are jealous and think they're angels.
Hello, you're a human. I'm also a human. Nice to meet you! Hey, see that guy with money, fame, success, and love? Don't you want that too?
Belive me, girl, I feel the same way. Instead of bending my pride to have a "win/win" situation, I want to drag them down and make them see how it feels like. It's a good thing that you're aware of this, lots of people feel this is righteous.
We all think like that. And most people think nothing of it.
All teens wage war with themselves. And then they win, and come out triumphant.
The day a woman controls her jealousy is the day Hell freezes over.
Okay, how do you choose who you hate? You hate someone and want to kill their guts. Perfectly normal. This hate is superficial, and seems worse than it is.
Darling, most people hate someone else's guts to the Pits of Tartarus and think they're noble. It's a good thing that you have such a wonderful conscience to tell you these things. Oh, the endless argument-to be noble and tortured by everything you feel, or to be horrible and live in ignorant peace.
Don't hate yourself..you are a wonderful human being. And lots of people love you, at least, the ones that are worthy of your love.
You're a teenager..and you know practically nothing of life. That's perfectly forgivable, in fact, teens use that as an excuse.
Everyone's blind when it comes to emotions.
You hate because you're frustrated, with nothing to vent it on except yourself, and the RP to make you feel better. But it's an addiction and not healthy..but I'm too far in to give a crap.
It's in the nature of man to love...and women too. Let that side fly free.
What if he's worth too much? What if I'm not worthy of him?
ReplyDelete...How does not being vain make you gay?
The reason I want to be perfect is because I want people to like me... which a lot of people don't.
The sun blinds people and gives them sunburn. And what if, for me, the flaws are too big? What if there's a gash so huge the sun can no longer shine?
I want to be able to help people who are suffering, and it makes me hurt, because I still can't help them...
I don't necessarily want fame... or money... I just want to be able to help people and to overcome flaws... that might be too big.
The thing is, I even feel that with friends. Like, if I see someone doing well on a video game, then I want them to make a mistake so I'll be better... even if it's a friend.
Aren't there stories of selfless women? So that means that Hell froze over already because selfless women have learned to control jealousy.
I'm not a wonderful human being... humanity in general is corrupted.
I'm writing a story on the 'not knowing anything'... reading gives you insight on everything... and more.
I love the RP and can't live without it now, haha...
How can he be worth too much? Worst case scenario, he doesn't like you back, you get angsty for a SHORT while, and find someone else and move on.
ReplyDeleteBoys are not vain because they don't care about their appearance. So if you're not vain on some level, you're probably gay.
A lot of people like you. If I were angsty until the people I liked all liked me back, I would never be happy. Besides, I wish for perfection every day.
Must you always look on the dark side? The sun brightens every day.
That's impossible. The sun shines past every flaw.
Obviously. You can't help them now...you'll be able to help them later. Just a few years, you know they go by so fast.
Lol, I get jealous like that too...sometimes. You're so good at Super Smash Bros....Grahh.
No, they haven't controlled Jealousy. They've just learned to hide it, and they've had so many more years than you to learn how to hide it.
In comparison, yes, you're wonderful. And humankind's always been that way, and you don't know how rare it is that a human with an actual CONSCIENCE pops up.
Yeah...I'm writing a story on Lilith in the Bible, and...kind of making Adam bad, because he really did just dump her, and that's what drove her to become evil...
I wouldn't get angsty for a SHORT while! He's too... important, and amazing, and perfect, and... he's just the person I want the most to be in my life!
ReplyDeleteO-kay... odd reasoning, but okay...
Boys are vain, just in a different way.
If a lot of people means you, Elizabeth, around 3 people at school, possibly 4 if I really caught David watching me today (he also talked to me today! :)), and my close family.....
What if I'm not like a sun? What if I'm like... a pebble, buried too far for the sun to reach?
I don't want them to go fast, though... if I'm going to live, I want to be able to enjoy my life.
Haha, I'm not good anymore, I haven't played in so long... I haven't had any reason to play.
Too know too much too early is hell. It is the fate of a tensai to suffer. We understand too much, and our minds aren't developed enough to take it and accept it as well as we should.
You know, I don't recall reading too much about Lilith... hm.
You'll feel the same about someone else someday, stronger, and he'll actually do something about it.
ReplyDeleteYes, boys are vain, but not....
Even the tiniest pebble has a speck of gold.
But one day you'll look back, and you'll be happy that you kept going through the angst.
I won't. I think I love him, because my feelings are stronger than anything else I've ever felt, even the angst, and that is really, truly something. And maybe I'm misinterpreting, but he was watching me yesterday and today... :)
ReplyDelete:3 if every pebble has gold, David is crystal. :) He's not like other boys in the way that he makes me laugh and smile.