DIEDIEDIEDIE

No one will notice if I die now, huh? because right now everyone is busy being bored. I can go to the bathroom with a knife and die and no one will care and it'll be oh so interesting to watch from hell. :D

Nngh...

ARGH! Whenever I think of Eiji, Alviss, Kukai, or any other minicrushes whether real people or anime characters... D.C (the initials of the person who I apparently actually like as far as the clues point who's other codename is Capitol) bumps into my head in the most annoyingly guilty manner! DX

The frick?!

In this summertime, I've had 2 dreams in which the person I like appeared! DX Which is bad! It makes me want to see him more... then again probably the dreams came cuz I didn't see him recently... I miss him so much... but my angst in life is greatly lessened due to the lack of school, yay. Anyhow, I have a stupid headache because today at the carwash the cars kept glinting light into my eyes and it felt like it was crisping my brain... and the cars started steaming at one point, if you looked really closely you could see where there was water on it the little scarves of steam floating off...

A question for anyone who reads this, if you die, will there be anyone who will be mad at you for dying? Not sad and crying and grieving, not cheerful, but mad at you for dying? For leaving them alone?

Who the fuck am I?

Who am I? What is my facade? My facade used to be my happy self, but now I've had to use it so much, it feels like it practically is me!

Am I the happy, cheery girl I am trying to be at school?
Am I a bloodthirsty person, like I sometimes feel?
Am I this lonely person, ignored by friends, lost in the crowd?
Am I this angsty person, lost in my hate and pain and forever almost alone?
Am I this jealous girl, always wanting to be best and often nearly willing to hurt to be so?
Am I this dreamer, lost in her fantasies, unable to change the real world?

And there's more to that, but I cut it off... cuz I didn't feel like typing more.

I'm so jealous... and ashamed of myself...

You know what? I'm really jealous... a girl from school who I will refer to as K flirts with him... *sigh* And also, a bunch of other things... quick sort-of poem here:

I hate myself.
I hate the way I watch him.
I hate the way I love him, but can't do anything.
I hate the way that I'm sometimes vain.
I hate the way that I stare in a mirror, wanting to be perfect.
I hate the way that I am not perfect.
I hate the way that I want to be perfect.
I hate the way that I hate myself.
I hate the way that I act rude.
I hate the way that I look down on others.
I hate the way that I watch others suffer.
I hate the way that I can't do anything to help.
I hate the way that I feel jealous.
I hate the way that I envy those better than me.
I hate the way that I feel that I want to drag them down.
I hate the way that I begin to think like that.
I hate the way that I have to wage war with myself.
I hate the way that I can't control my jealousy.
I hate the way that I can't control my hate.
I hate the way that I hate others.
I hate the way that I hate myself.
I hate the way that I am such an idiot.
I hate the way that I am blind to the obvious.
I hate the way that I can't stop hating.
I hate eternally.

More quiz things

:)

The German Shepherd is a workaholic. Intent on business, this loyal breed is always on patrol. Suspicious of strangers, she defends her territory with a fierce reproach. When it comes to affection, she is tender and loving toward her pack and feels a deep responsibility for their well-being. Mental and physical exercise both appeal equally to the German Shepherd, and her intelligence is further enhanced by her dedicated nature. When it comes to dependability, the German Shepherd has the market cornered.

Aha, that's nice... I am very very very conceited(if that's the right word) and overprotective of my territory.

Monday
You ar a big planner and you always worry about school. Some advice- losen up a bit and have some fun! You wake up bright and early every day and you LOVE TO READ.

I might have taken it badly, since I also tend to be a procrastinator... but I do love to read!


Cookie!
You are a very nice person! Sometimes you can get a little emotional, and you can be a softy. You never want to hurt someone else's feelings, or insult anybody. It is also hard for you to lie to anyone. Hobbies: Baking, Playing Friend: Milk

I never want to hurt anyone's feelings... unless they piss me off. I can lie... it just gets seen through...


tennis
you are very powerful,everybody wants to watch you, nothing can beat you your so strong your awesome

Lol, not really, but it goes with my newest anime to watch... PoT... :)


Time to ask him out!
This guy you have known for a long time, and you seem comfortable around him, you like him alot, not love. You like him for his amazing personality, and his looks also. So go ahead, make the first move! And if he says no, just remember there are plenty of other fish in the sea.
DON'T MAKE ANY ASSUMPTIONS FROM THIS ONE!!! I think I made a few wrong answers...


Results Three;
You like to think… a lot. You don’t really depend on people, just only when you’re really, really unsure about what to do. You really don’t care what other people think of you and that you move at your own pace.

This quiz was called : How Resilient are you? Hm...


No confidence.
You are very shy and don't like attention. You compare yourself to others and it's ruined your confidence level. Be yourself and meet some friends. Maybe eventually find someone who'll love you for you! But you have to take that first step. You've got nothing to lose and everything to gain!
...................................................................


You're Yin!
Yin and yang are complementary opposites within a greater whole- but you're the dark element: You are passive, dark, feminine, downward-seeking, and corresponding to the night.Not to mention you don't mind staring face to face with death(im Yin too!!)

Hm, I'm passive even though I said I'd face danger by attacking it? I'm not that feminine, am I? You can't be too feminine if you enjoy thinking about beheading or stabbing people with a giant sword...


I'll leave it there for now, and now for some angst...

Or rather, mention it. Since right now... It's getting too hard to describe.... I can't put it into words at all...

Broken Forest Heart.