Parent/Teacher Conferences, uggh...

A few days ago, my parents and I went to the Parent/Teacher conferences... It went well enough for my parents, but it was all downhill as far as I was concerned. My teacher was nice, he was helpful, all that yada yada, but he kept going back to the fact that I often (a lot of the time accidentally) forget my homework. I either forget to do it, I decide to do it later and then forget, or I do it and leave it at home by accident. It's so infuriating when I do the last one. Once, on a project, I stayed up until almost TWELVE FREAKIN' O'CLOCK and then guess what? I LEFT IT AT HOME!!!! THAT WAS SO FUCKING ANNOYING!!!

And so, we talked to my teacher, talked about how I have oh so much potential (Surely he tells that to EVERYONE) and how I was wasting it all because I dislike homework and how I often forget stuff (Not my fault! It's my brain's fault!) and because I prefer reading and writing as I please rather than doing homework (maybe that's my fault...).

And I know my teacher was well meaning and stuff, but on the way home, with my parents, I honestly could not tell if they meant well or if they really just wanted me to cry. They said things like, "I'm so disappointed in you, -insert my name which you're not supposed to know here-, you should really be doing better, why aren't you doing well?" at first, then it evolved into, "Well, of course, I wasn't really expecting you to win the Spelling Bee anyways," and in my head I was going, "Great, thanks for the vote of confidence, Dad. I won the school spelling bee in 5th grade, and I got second place the next year, most people can't do that, why are you trying to put me down?" because that's at least the 5th time he'd told me he didn't expect me to win the Spelling Bee. And then that evolved into, "If you don't start doing better, we'll restrict your reading, and game time" and I felt the need to scream, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!? READING AND VIDEO GAMES ARE PRETTY MUCH MY ONLY WAY TO ESCAPE ALL MY ANGST IN LIFE!!!" But of course, they're completely unaware of how much their words are killing me, they're even unaware that I'm suffering badly from just about everything.

When I got home, I immediately shut the door, then I spent a long time petting my stuffed animal cats that my aunt brought for me from China, and crying......

And now my mom is screaming at me again, dammit. I have to stop typing now.